I’ve spent most of my life taking time for granted; like a lot of people, I have lived with buried dreams that I told myself I’d save for later. This year, after seeing loved ones fall ill, and even pass away, I have learned that later is not guaranteed - now is all I can bet on. In this now I am dusting off my dream of being a writer.
For twelve years I’ve known I wanted to write, hell maybe even longer. I grew up in the early 2000s and I was obsessed with magazines - Vogue, Seventeen, Teen Vogue. In those publications I saw the girl I wanted to be - polished, cool, stylish, fit, and well traveled. I studied them, hoping that one day I’d be that girl writing those stories for someone else. However, my perspective changed as I got closer to adulthood, and I stopped believing I could tell those stories.
In my coming of age, I stopped feeling like the magazines I worshiped were talking to me. I would flip through the pages and see clothes I could never afford, and lifestyles depicted that I felt I would never live. My preteen fantasy of growing up to be a Vogue woman, disintegrated against the backdrop of the reality that those women are born and rarely created. Clearly, these publications weren’t meant for girls like me, so I stopped reading them and moved on.
Around this time I also learned fear. Despite my disconnection with my beloved magazines, I still had it in my heart that I would be a journalist; however, well-meaning people I encountered steered me away from the path, telling me that was a job “for people with a trust fund.” As someone who didn’t grow up with a lot of money, I was afraid of being financially insecure, so I pivoted away from my dream of being a writer. I looked down a couple different roads and eventually found myself on a corporate communications path that felt stable and somewhat creative.
The irony of choosing the “safe route” is that it hasn’t been safe at all; I’m currently navigating my third layoff in three years. I can’t help but feel that with this layoff the universe is talking to me - I was miserable on my safe career path. I was chronically fatigued, unfulfilled, and uncomfortable in corporate settings that never felt like me. I feel like with this layoff, it’s my opportunity to start fresh. This time around, I’ve taken a moment to reflect on where I’ve been, where I’m going, and what my purpose is. Which has brought me here - to this newsletter, to you.
This past year, I’ve found myself gravitating back to this calling of being a writer. I’ve spent time working as a freelance cannabis journalist, and found so much joy in reconnecting with the written word and my creative center. Even after all these years, the calling to write never left my spirit. Since I lost my job I’ve been looking for opportunities to write more and tell stories with value. That search inspired me to start looking at magazines again, with the hope I’d finally write for some, and I found I was still disappointed. I read the magazine articles and was unable to connect because my life experiences still weren’t being represented.
I didn’t see the stories about what to do when you have a job one day and it’s gone the next; or how to cope with a loved one in the hospital. In those glossy magazine pages I was missing notes on the very human experiences I have found myself in, over and over again. So I’m doing what must be done - creating the thing I don’t see in the world. I want to talk honestly and boldly about the battles I find myself facing because I know there’s someone else out there going through the same thing. I want to write stories that feel like an hour-long call to a confidant who always knows just what to say. Real people need a space to reflect, connect, uplift, and ultimately expand, which is why I created this newsletter - If I’m Being Honest.
The stories I’m sharing will primarily be personal pieces that shed light on bigger issues happening within our society. My current newsletter line up consists of stories about career, personal finance, lifestyle, health & wellness, and climate change. I mostly plan to stay in these realms, but I can’t make any promises. What I’m hoping is, as the weeks pass and If I’m Being Honest circulates, you will tell me what resonates with you and what doesn’t. I want this newsletter to be something that’s of service to this community, and I can only do that by writing stories that matter to you.
Lastly, I want you to walk away from each newsletter better than when you came, which is why each edition will include a Resources section. This section will tie into the week’s topic and will include content, products, recommendations, and events that I think will be helpful to this community. As much as it’s important to connect over the tough shit, it’s also imperative to uplift. If I’m Being Honest is about community, conversation, and shining a little light in the darkness. You can expect a new edition every two weeks. Thank you for reading and welcome.
I loved it Mandy! I’m looking forward to the next one. So proud and happy for you.
Tough start sis.. Love your heart! Can’t wait to read more in the future!