So often in life, we manifest blessings that we think will be the solution to all the things we don’t like about our lives. Capitalism sells us this dream that if we only had “this” - the house, the car, the body, etc. - then everything would be okay. The reality is that life never ceases to be challenging, and every blessing comes with a responsibility.
I recently watched The Dynasty: New England Patriots docuseries on AppleTV+ , which chronicles the team’s road to history making success within the NFL. Lead by Robert Kraft, Bill Belichick, and Tom Brady, in twenty years the Patriots pulled off six Super Bowl wins - something that had not happened in the NFL before their reign, and it hasn’t since. Winning that much sounds really fabulous, until you rip the curtain back and see how much turmoil the team went through to get there. On the last episode of the docuseries, Ernie Adams, the Director of Football Research for the Patriots, says “everybody wants to go to the Super Bowl, not that many people really want to do what it takes to get there.” That perspective struck a nerve inside of me; I realized when I heard that, that everything I want in life is indeed possible, but not without sacrifice.
When I moved to Brooklyn, I expected that everything would instantly fall into place, with the problems I previously faced in New York having been resolved. This go around my job is better, my apartment is nicer, my neighborhood feels like a good fit, and I’m single. What I did not anticipate, was the new problems that would present themselves right along with the new life I’d been blessed with. I harped on them a lot in the previous newsletter, so I won’t get too in the weeds here, but since I moved I’ve dealt with loneliness, financial hardship, and the questioning of my purpose here. These hurdles frustrated me because I was living in that lie that once I achieved my goal, everything would be perfect. I thought I could walk into this dream without giving up something to sustain it.
I now believe that the bigger the blessing we receive, the more that’s asked of us in return. You may get that dream house, but you’ll also get the bills that come with it. You may be get that new job, but you’ll have to deal with the discomfort of adjusting to a new role. Yes, it’s important to be joyous and revel in every victory, but once the dust settles, we must brace ourselves. Instead of expecting everything to go perfectly, it might help to anticipate a challenge and prepare for what we will be called to do to keep, and build on, the thing we asked for.
The challenges that come with our blessings, though trying at first, are blessings within themselves. When we step up and fight for positive change within our lives, on the other side of our struggles we birth a new self - someone who is resilient, adaptable, patient, and confident that they can survive adversity. Someone who is a champion.
First off I love a good sports documentary and will be checking that one out soon. I have moved 6 times, all solo and each time it hit me that when you are going through new things or big things is when you need the most support because new challenges come with it. It’s interesting that people want to be around when there are evident struggles and that’s actually the time that the least change is going on. For example, when I was unemployed everyone checked on me a lot and I’m like nothing to see here lol things moved slow to find a new job. But when I’ve moved, started new jobs, etc. I don’t get checked on as much and that is when I’m going through the most changes, challenges, imposter syndrome, financial hits. I guess it’s the drama of it all. The average person loves the drama or hard times while during the good times or new seasons people assume life is good. Okay, now I’m gonna go read the previous post. 🤎
Objectively, your life will improve - a lot - over time, but how you feel about it may not. This is because this improvement ushers in a new life, and its problems, though new and "better", can cause the same amount of worry as old ones.
You can have it all, but then you won't, because the costs could steal the joy of having. But we should want to have; we should want to move up the ladder, because we change as we do, too, and this changes makes us people who can handle these new problems - and the many others - that will come with growth.
Good thoughts in here, Amanda. Thank you.